Being pragmatic is not "blaming the victim" mmk?

I get it. I get that rape is bad. I get that sexual harassment sucks. I get that men should not rape and harass. I get that the way we have built up gender roles encourages these behaviors and should be worked against. I totally get it, guys.

In spite of the getting, I am sick of the phrase "blaming the victim" being brought up as a trump-card in discussion about conduct. I'm talking about shit like this:

March of the Slave Moralizers

Once again, I get it. I get that there are fat, stupid shitheads running around who will say things like "she deserved it", "she was asking for it", etc etc (we've all heard Rush Limbaugh talk out of his boner-pill-popping ass about things he doesn't understand). I get why these guys are wrong- no amount of visible inches above the knee makes raping a woman okay, nor should it even bring that action into your mind, you sick fuck.

BUT- let's talk pragmatically. This phrase "don't tell me not to x, tell men not to rape", coupled with it's ugly cousin "stop blaming the victim" have been brought up to challenge remarks that don't fit this same level of shititude, such as "we recommend not walking home from the bar alone when you've had a few drinks."

I get it. In your perfect, ideal world in which we've somehow been able to completely eliminate the crime of rape through cultural destruction and social engineering, we shouldn't have to tell women that it is a bad idea to stumble home alone from Mojo's at 3am after $2 jagerbomb night while going commando. That would be problematic!

However, that is not the world we live in. Whether it is problematic or not, there is a real and present danger of getting sexually assaulted (or even just mugged) walking home alone from the bar. There are shitty people running around after last call, as well as a lot of normal people who are now drunk and more likely to be violent and horrible. There are people walking around who will look at certain clothing items and think that that is a green light. They SHOULDN'T think that it is a green light, but for now they will, and fuck them for that.

So, if  I have a hypothetical daughter on her way to college, I am going to tell her that she shouldn't walk home from the bar alone. I don't care if that's problematic- I don't want her to get assaulted, and one way to avoid that will be to go out with friends, or better yet to not waste her valuable study-energy going out to a shitty bar like Mojo's. Who decided that hedonism was the greatest shit ever any way? fucking degenerate scum.

I will probably also tell her not to use websites like Omegle or Chatroulette, because in spite of the 'keep your clothes on' rule, those pages are full of perverts jerking their tiny chodes on camera looking to prey on young kids. "Don't tell me not to use omegle, tell predators not to jack off on cam!" Why not have both? I may even take the forbidden step and say "look, Sophia, you can wear whatever you want, I won't try to stop you, but know that there are shitty people out there who will think that they get to touch you up because you are wearing a short skirt." Kiss my ass and don't tell me how to raise my hypothetical kids.

except for this guy.

I will NEVER say to or of someone who experienced an assault that they should have known better, or that they should have done something differently, because committing a rape is something that a rapist decides to do that nobody ever deserves. Similarly, I will never say of the astronauts who died on the Challenger that they should have fucking not gotten into a crash, because they didn't deserve to die. That doesn't mean we can't learn from shitty situations and alter our own behavior to avoid them for ourselves.